Friday 23 April 2010
Last Blog
Dearest Blogger friends .Today will be my last blog .I have decided today will be my last day to say goodbye to you all.I would just like to thank you all for all your kind words and support over the last months .Today my Doctors will come and end my life . Until we all meet again my spirit will live on through your kind words and wisdom . Thank you very much everybody and I wish you all LOVE , GOOD HEALTH and HAPPINESS . Goodbye Leigh x x
Saturday 17 April 2010
Palliative care....
I spent the night in the hospital Thursday 15th - 16th because of pain in my legs.
I had an MRI of my spinal cord and they found pressure points on my nerves causing the pain.
They have started me on morphine plasters to change every three days and now I have good pain relief and I can walk again.
On Monday I will start palliative radiotheraphy on a few places along my spine to help with the pain.
xxx Leigh
I had an MRI of my spinal cord and they found pressure points on my nerves causing the pain.
They have started me on morphine plasters to change every three days and now I have good pain relief and I can walk again.
On Monday I will start palliative radiotheraphy on a few places along my spine to help with the pain.
xxx Leigh
Wednesday 14 April 2010
Reunion
Yesterday 13th, I had a reunion with three lovely ladies....
We have not seen each other for around 13 years or more...Pearl and Anita and I used to fly together at BMI British Midland and Rosie whom I became very close too when I flew with her Brother Alan my best friend.
They took the boat over to Oostend spent the night in Brugge and poppped over to see little old me.
They all looked fab and had not aged at all.....Botox does wonders though eh!! lol
Catching up on old stories and looking at photo's......wonderful.......
I love you all and thank you for that special day so much.....
xxx leigh
We have not seen each other for around 13 years or more...Pearl and Anita and I used to fly together at BMI British Midland and Rosie whom I became very close too when I flew with her Brother Alan my best friend.
They took the boat over to Oostend spent the night in Brugge and poppped over to see little old me.
They all looked fab and had not aged at all.....Botox does wonders though eh!! lol
Catching up on old stories and looking at photo's......wonderful.......
I love you all and thank you for that special day so much.....
xxx leigh
When is it time
When is is time to let go and accept I need more help. Is it giving in to accept the help being offered around me.
Foolishness unfortunately is stopping ease my pain and that is another lesson I am learning quickly.
I assumed if I pushmyself and especially my skinny arse and legs they would get stronger and give me more power to move around....boy was I wrong. I have been hobbling around with gritted teeth because of pain in my hips and legs on full dose paracetamol to no resolve.
My home help nurse poppped to see me today and has organized my Doc to come over later in the morning and change my meds to ease the pain....or get rid would be better.
xxx Leigh
Foolishness unfortunately is stopping ease my pain and that is another lesson I am learning quickly.
I assumed if I pushmyself and especially my skinny arse and legs they would get stronger and give me more power to move around....boy was I wrong. I have been hobbling around with gritted teeth because of pain in my hips and legs on full dose paracetamol to no resolve.
My home help nurse poppped to see me today and has organized my Doc to come over later in the morning and change my meds to ease the pain....or get rid would be better.
xxx Leigh
Monday 12 April 2010
Wheelchair
I took delivery of my new wheelchair Saturday which was a hard pill to chew.
Theo and Ellen still had it in the cellar from Marcels mum to be more mobile. At least it will get me more mobile as I can walk with it and take a seat when tired.
This past weekend John and I had lots of time together and family have all gone home and we have our home back.
The distraction of family and bondding was very special but as we all know it is great to get back to your own routine.
Today the 12th I had a really lazy day....checking a few mails and having mini naps. My legs are giving me gip at the moment and paracetomol is just not enough. The doctor will be here tomorrow for a home visit and I will ask for stronger meds. My legs are cramping up at night even with an electric blancket on my legs.
I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow with three ladies popping over to see me from the UK...I feel honoured. They are my old dear friends Pearl, Anita and Rosie. Pearl and Anita I used to fly with at BMI and I also flew with Alan, Rosie's brother and Rosie and I became good friends.
xxxleigh
Theo and Ellen still had it in the cellar from Marcels mum to be more mobile. At least it will get me more mobile as I can walk with it and take a seat when tired.
This past weekend John and I had lots of time together and family have all gone home and we have our home back.
The distraction of family and bondding was very special but as we all know it is great to get back to your own routine.
Today the 12th I had a really lazy day....checking a few mails and having mini naps. My legs are giving me gip at the moment and paracetomol is just not enough. The doctor will be here tomorrow for a home visit and I will ask for stronger meds. My legs are cramping up at night even with an electric blancket on my legs.
I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow with three ladies popping over to see me from the UK...I feel honoured. They are my old dear friends Pearl, Anita and Rosie. Pearl and Anita I used to fly with at BMI and I also flew with Alan, Rosie's brother and Rosie and I became good friends.
xxxleigh
Friday 9 April 2010
Family all home safe
Hello Blog,
An early start today with family going home and appointments at the doctor and hospital.
The alarm clock woke me at 06:45 and I pottered downstairs to put the kettle and the koffie machine on to get the family up and running.
The bacon came out of th ridge and the eggs were whipped to make a big omelate. So we had lovely bacon and egg buns to start the day.
My first trip was to the doctor to collect medicine with John and a pee pot to make a test on my urine as it feels strange and flows too well.......
On the way back we got stuck at the canal bridge for 15 minutes so we started to panic as we had to quickly nip home to say goodbye to my family and rush off to the next hospital appointmnet.
At 09:00 we got home with quick cuddles and kisses to say goodbye to family and sped off to the local hospital to meet up with my Oncologist.
We arrived 3 minutes late...so not too bad really....and within a few mins we were invited in.
I had met this Oncologist Dhr van Reizen 2 years ago when I had my chemo after the RC Radical Cystectomy. He is such a gentle man and very calming and wanted to hear what we expected from him.
Obviously firstly we wanted to know if he agreed with all the advise we had received thus far and he agreed. Very compassionate and had had experience with only one other patient with the same diagnosis in the last ten years. No effective treatment is available for this ravage of bladder cancer cells in the spinal fluid. Of course for other cancers types.....not for bladder cancer cells.
Yes it was downhearting and sad and I dropped into a dip.....I have done enough now.....questions have been asked and answered. Time to get the acceptance....if it ever comes.....I hope so....soon...I need more peace and less anxiety in my body as it is up and down and I get the shakes with worry.
I think my doctor will increase my calming meds next week.....I do it anyway myself when I feel the need.
My neo bladder is having a whale of a time being incontinent during the daytime at the moment....normally I have total control in the day....the moment I relax it just lets go and I have to chane pads regular to stay dry.
I am hoping it has something to do with an infection in my bladder which will be confirmed Mon/Tue next week and an antibiotica cure will sort that out.
After today's adventures I slept well this afternoon with a few cat naps and now have the energy to write a bit of the blog.
X-Factor in Holland the first live shows are just about to start so Leigh signing out.......
xxx Leigh
An early start today with family going home and appointments at the doctor and hospital.
The alarm clock woke me at 06:45 and I pottered downstairs to put the kettle and the koffie machine on to get the family up and running.
The bacon came out of th ridge and the eggs were whipped to make a big omelate. So we had lovely bacon and egg buns to start the day.
My first trip was to the doctor to collect medicine with John and a pee pot to make a test on my urine as it feels strange and flows too well.......
On the way back we got stuck at the canal bridge for 15 minutes so we started to panic as we had to quickly nip home to say goodbye to my family and rush off to the next hospital appointmnet.
At 09:00 we got home with quick cuddles and kisses to say goodbye to family and sped off to the local hospital to meet up with my Oncologist.
We arrived 3 minutes late...so not too bad really....and within a few mins we were invited in.
I had met this Oncologist Dhr van Reizen 2 years ago when I had my chemo after the RC Radical Cystectomy. He is such a gentle man and very calming and wanted to hear what we expected from him.
Obviously firstly we wanted to know if he agreed with all the advise we had received thus far and he agreed. Very compassionate and had had experience with only one other patient with the same diagnosis in the last ten years. No effective treatment is available for this ravage of bladder cancer cells in the spinal fluid. Of course for other cancers types.....not for bladder cancer cells.
Yes it was downhearting and sad and I dropped into a dip.....I have done enough now.....questions have been asked and answered. Time to get the acceptance....if it ever comes.....I hope so....soon...I need more peace and less anxiety in my body as it is up and down and I get the shakes with worry.
I think my doctor will increase my calming meds next week.....I do it anyway myself when I feel the need.
My neo bladder is having a whale of a time being incontinent during the daytime at the moment....normally I have total control in the day....the moment I relax it just lets go and I have to chane pads regular to stay dry.
I am hoping it has something to do with an infection in my bladder which will be confirmed Mon/Tue next week and an antibiotica cure will sort that out.
After today's adventures I slept well this afternoon with a few cat naps and now have the energy to write a bit of the blog.
X-Factor in Holland the first live shows are just about to start so Leigh signing out.......
xxx Leigh
Thursday 8 April 2010
Calls just in time zone please.....
I had a wheelchair on order to help me walk a little more and take a rest when needed. Basically push it along until I needed a pew.
My brother in law read my blog and called to say they still had a wheelchair from my mother inlaw.
Amazing how connections can be so helpful and bring out kindness....
So the wheelchair has been cancelled with home help...saves money too right....
My garden is looking tidy and ready for the growing season with all hands on deck the last few days....brillant.
Great to see the daffs, tulips and spring flowers popping out colours......
Sis,Mike and Mollie go back home to England tomorrow with PO Ferries and should be home tea time. It has been a joy having them here with Auntie Sha leaving earlier in the week Monday. Now back to work....enjoying the joys of Fish and chips soaked in vinegar and salt.
It has been a great feeling having them all around helping out and keeping me company....my house is a little cottage so it has been a bit crowdy....but plenty of places to have a rest in my room and get my mind at peace when needed.
John and I will have the weekend to our selves and the following week so great quality time together in a few days to bond and chat and be together.
I am finding it harder to reply to mails letters and emails recently...just dont have the energy sometimes. So I will be posting an email soon to tell everyone to read the blog for updates only and not to send anymore personal mails as it is just too much admin.
Calls please just between 15:00 and 17:00 otherwise my day is just find I am being disturbed by calls all day ....work work work and I am finding I need more and more naps.
This does not apply to family of course!!
If you find that you want to call in that time zone and it rings it could also mean I am taking another call and although i have call waiting i do not use it...i finish the call i am on not to be rude. So if you call and i do not answer....ask yourself is it important...yes,no....try another time day.
Thank you all for your help here......
xxx leigh
My brother in law read my blog and called to say they still had a wheelchair from my mother inlaw.
Amazing how connections can be so helpful and bring out kindness....
So the wheelchair has been cancelled with home help...saves money too right....
My garden is looking tidy and ready for the growing season with all hands on deck the last few days....brillant.
Great to see the daffs, tulips and spring flowers popping out colours......
Sis,Mike and Mollie go back home to England tomorrow with PO Ferries and should be home tea time. It has been a joy having them here with Auntie Sha leaving earlier in the week Monday. Now back to work....enjoying the joys of Fish and chips soaked in vinegar and salt.
It has been a great feeling having them all around helping out and keeping me company....my house is a little cottage so it has been a bit crowdy....but plenty of places to have a rest in my room and get my mind at peace when needed.
John and I will have the weekend to our selves and the following week so great quality time together in a few days to bond and chat and be together.
I am finding it harder to reply to mails letters and emails recently...just dont have the energy sometimes. So I will be posting an email soon to tell everyone to read the blog for updates only and not to send anymore personal mails as it is just too much admin.
Calls please just between 15:00 and 17:00 otherwise my day is just find I am being disturbed by calls all day ....work work work and I am finding I need more and more naps.
This does not apply to family of course!!
If you find that you want to call in that time zone and it rings it could also mean I am taking another call and although i have call waiting i do not use it...i finish the call i am on not to be rude. So if you call and i do not answer....ask yourself is it important...yes,no....try another time day.
Thank you all for your help here......
xxx leigh
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