Hanging south

Weaning off the steroids has not gone to plan and a week of hobbling around and constant dizzy spells have forced me to give in and step up the dosage once more.

I reduced the level to 20 mg and thought if I just bite my way through my body would have adapted. Unfortunately this has not been the case and I am back to 40 mg a day.

My walking has improved and my brain feels calm once more…the feeling of it rolling around in my head at any slight movement was not a pleasant experience.

I did get warned by the Radiologist that this may happen and a step back maybe necessary…obviously the therapy is still active in my brain creating swelling.

Of course this has pissed me off a great deal and the puffy face and eyes are here to stay a little while longer.

The steroids really are my stabilizers and allow me to function and I could not walk with ought them.

I have been drenched in pessimism for my future this past week and it was no great place to be. Trying to find the bright side and rekindle positive thoughts has not come easy to me recently.

On top of this I have had a few episodes of high sugar levels and have now been given an insulin pen for when the levels are above 12. My doctor has warned me that in 1% of patients this can become permanent…whoopee, another ailment to add to the list.

Friday I have my Radiology appointment and will find out the deal with the steroids…if and when I can start to wean off again.

I am going to cross over to my normally optimistic self if only to boost my psychological well-being.

So as you can read I have had a blue week in the doldrums although I am heading to the middle east for some winter sun and relaxation next week. This will be a very well desrved break for John and I ..especially John as he needs a good rest. With lots of warm sunshine and snorkelling, searching for Nemo amongst the coral reafs.

I will be layed out on a sun bed or hammock sipping a cocktail or two and taking a dip in the pool each day to try to tighten out my flabby body….amazing what 4 months not going to the gym can do….everything and I mean everything is hanging south…

So my total sunblock for my head and neck is already packed…and I am counting the days to take off……