Consciously

I am putting off planning things this year because of future medical exams and tests. My partner has booked off periods of the year for holidays but I am just very hesitant about booking anything in case of bad results.

I know myself that this is a negative view on life, as if I am expecting bad news to come my way. I suppose for now leading my life day by day since my diagnosis has been the norm for me.

I do cherish every new day when I wake up and try to live more consciously which is much more relaxing, I guess in a way relearning to use my senses in a grateful way.

Reading the book “The Secret” many months ago, given to me by my aunty Sha, has helped me immensely. It was my bible during my hospital stay for the Radical Cystectomy and I read it often when I had the energy to open the pages.

It really is a life style change that must be included in daily routines for it to work successfully, just like maintaining eating and exercise plans to stay healthy.

During my low periods I have slipped back into old unhealthy routines and life is just not pleasant when this happens. The book “The Secret” has been sitting on my mantle piece staring at me each day and in a way calling for me to pick it up. I put off picking this book up for many weeks because in a way I felt a kind of anger towards it. The anger is really my anger at the cancer and my impatience for results and not the book.

In the book it advises how your positive thoughts can breed many more positive thoughts and enhance your life in many ways. Of course you learn that the opposite is true when thinking negatively this will in turn increase the negative thoughts also.

So basically we are what we think and the best course to follow is the positive line of thinking which makes common sense. It is a constant work in progress however and perfecting these theories is of course impossible. Creating the balance just like everything in life has to be the aim for me at least.

Having negative thoughts is also part of our psychological makeup, learning how to listen to them and deal with them and turn them into a positive is the task at hand. I know I certainly feel good about myself mentally and physically when thinking positively and feel the opposite when those negative thoughts slide in.

Our bodies and minds give us lots of signs each and every day and it is up to me to read them. Living consciously certainly is helping me to be more aware so that I can keep the negativity at bay....