Hibernation

Hibernation sounded so good to me the last few days…to be honest I just wanted to crawl up in a ball.

I was feeling sorry for myself and had to do something about that, so I don’t spiral into a dark place.

Pulled myself together today and set out on a mission to walk my usual 4.5km round the fields with Bo Bo the French bulldog. He certainly was not impressed with my spurt of energy to walk in the wind and rain.

It really did blow off the cob webs for both of us as it helped me to sort out my thoughts and file a few things that are simply not worth the effort worrying about.

Disconnecting from this situation sometimes is paramount for healthy positive living and resuming a new lifestyle….

Finding the right balance of active participation in my health care is something that has been testing to say the least. I have always been eager to know all the finer facts before making decisions. Some reading of the cold hard facts of this disease would send the strongest willed into a spiral.

Denial is not an option so no easy way out either…

Obviously I can only do the best I can at this time and not beat myself up mentally with the emotional aspects.

Fooling my self into thinking that I have other dimensions in my life at the moment is not entirely true. This cancer is profound element in my life which is a fact…..the positives of this situation will be my ability not to let it destroy my life spirit and eagerness to enjoy life’s offerings.

It is a great learning curve and I am enlightened each day with the hurdles I have been jumping.

I know I am lucky to be here and breathing and when I put my situation into perspective it calms me. Other people are in a far worse situation than me so I should count the blessings as I have so many.